Lactose Intolerance

So, one of the side effects from the surgery is a lactose intolerance. It doesnt happen to everyone, but it happened to me.

I ordered an iced mocha from the coffee shop. I got soy milk, as I always do, but didnt think to check the mocha powder. It was mexican chocolate, so it had excellent spices in it, unfortunately, it also had milk powder. I had barely started drinking it before feeling cramps. Great.

Cheese is hit or miss for me, ice cream is kinda okay, but milk hits me quickly and hard.

Why do I talk about HAES

(Health at Every Size)

Why not?

HAES is not just for fat people. Its not just for skinny people, or just for non surgery people. HAES is a philosophy that one can improve their health without doing anything about their weight, and that ANYONE, at ANYTIME, can be taking steps to be healthy.

For me, HAES is also learning to not focus on the scale as a measure of success, or self worth, or failure. HAES is learning how to eat what my body wants me to eat, and how to move within myself.

One of the attitudes that the WLS "community" has is that same attitude that dieters have: the idea that one can restrict their calories to lose weight, and that this is the only thing they need to do. I see every day posts about "im not losing enough weight" (when they stall at 3 weeks out.) Or "I starve myself and im not losing weight." Yes, surgery is a drastic measure, and may often have complications, and many people regain their weight. But, teaching EVERYONE that they can listen to their bodies, eat what is good for them, and enjoy movement is a worthwhile endeavor.

Sure, I am a traitor to the cause. I had a radical surgery in which part of my stomach was removed from my body, in order to restrict the amount of food that I could eat. By this food restriction, I lost weight. But, I also practiced HAES philosophies while doing so. I listened to my body, I learned what it liked and did not like, I amazed myself at what my body would do for me, because I was treating it right. Stomach or no, those are still HAES ideas.

I also gained a lot of insight into myself, and a lot of insight into how the "Diet" mentality fits into things. A friend mentioned that "size acceptance" is not just fat people not trying to lose weight. "Size Acceptance" is accepting the size that you are, without judgment. Its about trying on clothing that is too small, and not jumping to "OMG, im gaining weight and its the end of the world." Regardless of the size and weight you started from. And, that is the mentality I am trying to break, regardless of current size, and even after having WLS.

I often reference the Fantasy of Being Thin when talking about how to live your life. EVERYONE needs to read this, regardless of their weight or surgery. As she says: "the message we’re sending is that you’re actually allowed to love your fat body instead of hating it, and you can take steps to substantially improve your health without fighting a losing battle with your weight."

If the Size Acceptance community will "accept" people with failed weight loss attempts/surgeries, why not accept those who are living HAES lifestyles but havent gained back the weight (yet)?

Yes, body, i'll listen to you.

Stall broken, ive lost 4 pounds in 3 days. After stalling for 1.5 months.

yes, body, i'll listen to your symptoms of hair falling out and feeling light headed as the kick that I needed to remember my protein. And, low and behold, I start eating more protein and fewer carbs, and my weight drops. (Hair still falling out, but hairs are on a different time frame.)

I bought biotin to start for the hair. Im back on calcium and my multivitamin, and I bought calcium to have at work so I can take it when I remember it.

Ive come to a better understanding and acceptance of my body. Though, I kinda dislike the viewpoint that I am more on display for others, but that is slowly going away. Or I am getting used to it.

Thesis proposal is at committee. Late, and my thesis is due in 5 weeks. AAAAaAaahhHHH!

Jeans

I can finally fit into my 18s.

Also, I can almost fit in one leg of my old 28s. I almost fell while doing so, but I can fit.

In both cases, it was the excess skin on my thighs that prevented/prevents me from doing so. But, hey, I can still wear skirts :-)

The bus

Last year, I used to watch on the bus. As the largest person (usually) on the bus, no one wanted to sit next to me. Many times, they would look at the empty seat beside me, and decide to stand.

Today, on the bus, I was on my shuffle, with my bag in the seat next to me, with my leg crossed. I just assumed that someone who needed to sit would go for another empty seat.

Nope. Rather than choose an easier seat, the person inconvenienced me, and sat beside me.

I smiled on the rest of the ride.