I love my surgeon!

How many surgeons can you go out to eat with? Who will sit down to a meal with his patients? Awesome! We had a patient reunion yesterday, and it was great! It was awesome to talk to someone considering surgery, to someone who had her surgery a week ago, to ones over a year out and at goal, to one (with a lap band) who was two weeks out from plastic surgery.

Dr. Alvarez at Endobariatric.com is amazing. Yes, I looked at Mexican surgeons for the price, however, after finding Dr. Alvarez, and hearing the excellent results from his former patients, I made the right choice. I could have stayed in the US for surgery, but it was either a surgeon that has done 5 surgeries in my local area, or flying across the country and paying 2-3 times as much for a surgeon with comparable experience.

Dr. Alvarez was a three hour drive from my house, he is a very experienced surgeon, and one of the best VSG surgeons out there. The price is simply a bonus, the country only phased me slightly. While the hospital was slightly older, I feel I received as good of care there as I would have in the US.

(Oh, BTW, I am very glad I didnt get a lap band. The plastic surgery patient was great, but she just had a refill, and spent the day nauseous from having too tight of a fill. She is doing excellent with the band, but she wishes she had the sleeve.)

Friday P&C

Con:
Paid a warrant from a speeding ticket I never paid. So, im broke.
Ive got two papers due in about two weeks.
Um, Im eating junk food. I should stop that, its not that good.
Im addicted to sodas again.

Pro:
Im finally at 260! That means I have lost 60 pounds, I have 100 left to go! (Though, its still kinda freaking me out that I could be at 100 pounds lost at 6 months out!)
Ive figured out a lot of what my body likes and what my body doesnt like (Likes: ground meat with cheese, cheese, chicken. Doesnt like: chocolate, sugar, and bread/pasta.)
Patient reunion on Saturday, I get to see my surgeon again :-)
I have enough ground meat to last me several months. :-)
I could walk up the hill without being out of breath.

Lap VSG 12/20/2007 with Dr. Alvarez
320/260/160

"Ideal Types"

Sociology geek time! :-)

There is a concept in sociology called the "ideal type." This is the perfectly idealized version of something. I think I have that when it comes to food cravings. I crave the ideal version of something, the perfect bite. But when I come to actually eat the food I want, its not as good as I think it should be.

But I still eat it :-)

Still, trying to live up to that "ideal type" is pointless. We all have an impossible ideal of things, and it is important to realize that it is impossible.

Hunger

Since my friend asked, and its a good question, i'll cover it here :-)

I dont really get hungry. I'll get head hunger sometimes, but I dont get the gut wrenching hunger that I did before.

How I usually know that im hungry is I get irritable, or start fantasizing about food, or get light headed. Its usually never related to my stomach. Thats one of the good things about the VSG. It removes ghrelin, which is one of the major hormones that causes you to feel hunger.

In vegas, I was usually not the one making the suggestion to get food, and I was able to eat a few bites off of everyone elses plates, and I was full and satisfied. I did eat a lot of cheese, because I could buy cheese sticks for 75 cents at the gift shop.

Also, I dont have to chew my food to mush, at least not right now. In the first month (of solid foods), I did chew my food, because I could eat more when I did that. Now, I chew my meat mostly to make sure there isnt any gristle, and swallow. I do find that chewing leads me to think about if I am full or not.

Another thing is that I dont normally eat food because it is there. If I buy something, and dont like it, i'll give it away. I bought a three dollar chocolate bar, took one bite, and gave it to my friend because I didnt like it. I can put food up without thinking about it until I eat it again. I forget that I have chocolate in my desk.

It really is a different life. :-)

Confessions

My confession for the day: I don’t track my foods.

I’m sure I'll start doing this around my 6 month stall. (Note: Most people stall around 3 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, etc). But, I don't think an emphasis on counting calories, fat grams, carbs, etc is necessarily healthy long term.

I do know approximate amounts. Like, each ounce of meat or cheese has about 6-7 grams of protein, so I need to eat 10 ounces of those over the day. (Wow, that’s a lot!) I’ll eat meat, cheese, eggs, cheese, and some other things here and there. I’ll glance at the calories of things I eat, when I eat out of packaged foods.

But, so many “diets” tell us to read labels. I think that’s the wrong emphasis. We should be focusing on whole foods, foods without labels. I don’t think I should have to worry about the calories and fat in a piece of chicken or some nice steak. I do have to worry about things that come in packages with long lists of ingredients.

It also saves me from having to worry about everything I eat. How do I track 1/4th of a hamburger, or 1/8th of a sandwich? ☺

Bleh

So, I lost 7 pounds over the last week. (Apparently, walking does help! Who knew? :-) If only I lived in a city where walking was appropriate to get around, instead of people staring at walkers going to outlying areas. Or, maybe thats my paranoia.)

When I started Weight Watchers the last time, I lost 7 pounds the first week. The woman seemed incredulous (wow, I spelled that right!) that I could lose 7 pounds and not notice it.

I didnt notice this 7 pounds. My jeans actually feel tighter, I havent changed sizes that I can tell, so, bleh. But, when I take my three month pictures (three days!), I am sure that there will be a big difference. Maybe I need to see that, compared to my old self, side by side.

Or maybe it will depress me. In vegas, I hung around some very judgemental people, specifically, judging people based on their appearance and their dress. I wonder what they think/thought about me?

Eggs

Mmm, I just made my first egg quiche thing. Just an egg, garlic salt, pepper, and cheese. I might have to check out the things that Michelle adds to her "bites" to try to make single size versions. I could almost eat the entire thing (there are probably two large bites, or four WLS bites left).

(Before surgery, I thought about doing this for breakfast, as a cheap/fast/easy way to get protein in. And, at three months out, I am just trying it.) :-)

Walking

I can walk a mile.

I would have never had done this before. But, the first day here in Vegas, I walked about two miles. Last night, when making a decision to either walk or take the bus, I walked. About a mile (but I stayed to watch the fountain show) in about 30 minutes.

I walked a mile. Willingly. Happily, even, though I wish I were wearing my crocs rather than my other shoes, but I did it.

I also rode a roller coaster. And, I am heading now to the Star Trek Experience at the Hilton, and i'll ride two more rides :-)

Body Stuff

I dont know why, but while I like other people commenting on my weight loss, im getting weird internal reactions to phrases like "next time I see you, you will be skinny." Or anything that talks about my future weight loss.

Its annoying. I love the "you look great" comments, probably because I dont see it all that much. (Then again, my friend sent me the "before" pictures, and I really do look a lot better. Thank you!)

I think it has to do with my thoughts that I dont think i'll be skinny. Its probably the stall talking (well, not really a stall, I lost 1-2 pounds last week, but it seems like a small amount), but I dont know if I actually honestly think i'll get down to my goal weight.

This feels like all the other times that I have been on a "diet," and told a lot of people, and failed, and gained it all back. Or, how I feel when I look at my friends and see that they have gained a lot of weight (then realize that people must have been looking at me that way. I wonder what they thought.)

Or, it might be that I can control my own expectations, but I would feel bad about disappointing other people. Or, that they think I look good now, but what if I dont lose as much as they are expecting me to lose? Will they still think I look good? :-)

Argh! Jeans!

So, I am leaving Friday on Vacation. Orlando for 4 days, Vegas for 5.

My friend gave me some 22s to bring, because I only have one pair of jeans. Despite all of these jeans being 22s, none of them fit :-(

Her size 20 black shiny pants? Fits, perfectly.

Damn you clothing makers!

Hopefully, I can wear my skirt in Orlando, because I wont do too much walking around. I might convince the guys to take me shopping, and buy another pair.

In other news, I bought a domain. http://www.fatgirlshrinking.com is the new address, though the blogspot address will redirect. However, fatgirlshrinking.com (without the WWW) will not work. Yet. I am working on it.

pink

pink
Originally uploaded by vegecherry

New Pink hair. I really need a camera that is not attached to my cell phone :-)

IMG_7607

IMG_7607
Originally uploaded by vegecherry

Small Before Picture. This was taken in February, but it is within a few pounds of my highest.

Now, to get my friend to send me my before picture :-)

short2

short2
Originally uploaded by vegecherry

My New Haircut :-) And, my first flickr blog post! How awesome is this! :-)

Things in my Head

I have too much stuff to sort out in my head.


Saturday, someone hit on me. On one hand, it felt good to be validated by someone else :-) On the other hand, I had seen this particular person for, oh, easily the past year and possibly longer than that. Why did they pick Saturday to pick me up? Could it be my fabulous new haircut? Or my awesome new shirt? Or the fact that I was in a mood? Or, could it be that I’ve lost 50 pounds?

That last line of thinking is going to get to me. I can see that I will need to find a new social crowd or a new city. I think that if I stay around the same people, I will be more and more pissed off from the attention. Which is really surprising to me, as my main motivation (yell at me all you want) is to look better to a wider variety of people. (Sure, this has almost cured my binge eating, is making me eat healthier, and its far easier to exercise a smaller body, but its all about the looks. Or was, I am enjoying the health related benefits.) So, it is counter-intuitive to get pissed at people because they are finding me more attractive.

I think it is anger. So many people bullshit about “oh, its all about the personality.” Bullshit. That is complete and utter crap. If it were all about the personality, then why did no one hit on me at 320 pounds? I had a great personality! I’ve had more than one person call me the “perfect girl.” (They were otherwise taken in relationships, but still.)

It was interesting talking with my friend, since I thought she had tiny feet, and our feet are now almost the same size. My feet have lost weight, and are less swollen. I also figured out where my missing pair of jeans are, I gave them to her ☺ She will be letting me borrow a pair for my trip, so I have three pairs of jeans to last me 9 days. (And some dresses and a jean skirt.)

I leave soon for Orlando, then Vegas! (My friend found it cute that “Vegas Baby!” is written on my calendar.) 99 cent shrimp cocktail, here I come!